Title: "Buffy's Valentine Present" or "Angelus
Has Fun with Xander" (Part
Author: Oh come on! Who else could be insane enough to write this?!
E-Mail: You guys already know this, so why did I even put that there?!
Rating: R as in Really Really Sick!!! This is not for anyone with a weak
stomach. You have been warned...hehehe....
Disclaimer: I don't own Angelus, Xander, Buffy, Spike, Dru or anyone else
who's mentioned in this twisted story. They all belong to that Monkey Crack
Over-Abusing acid-tripping executive producer we all know as Joss. And they
also belong to Err Argh! Productions. I have no money so please don't sue!!!
Oh! And Vinny is my character. He's just a poor little vampire minion caught
in the middle of everything...hehehe
Spoilers: None, unless you count BB&B (Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered) but
even that doesn't really have anything to do with this, so I guess...Nope! No
spoilers here! Hehehe....
Feedback: Yes! Yes! Come on! You know you love me!
Content: Torture, blood, death...the usual...hehehe
Summary: I'm not telling. Just read it. But if you're someone who really
likes Xander, then I would suggest that you DON'T read it! You'll find out
later. And that's all I'm gonna say about that. And I kill my own character
in this story so go figure...hehehe
Note: I posted part of this a while ago, but then I stopped in the middle of
the story. Well now it's finished, except that I've changed some things
around. Namely, I took Pam and Mel out of this story. They were already in
two stories and I think that's enough for now. Plus it would have made the
story way too long, and I'm getting sick and tired of typing really long
Another Note: I could make a sequel out of this, but I don't actually hate
most of the characters enough to kill any of them. Well, except for The
Mayor, Principal Snyder and Scott...But I digress. I even kinda like Faith
and Cordy. Plus I'm running out of torture ideas. Anyone have any
suggestions?? I don't even really hate Xander enough to kill him. Blame
Angelus for this story. It's all his fault! He made me do it! Angelus told
me if I didn't write this story, he would kill me! What would you guys do?!
Right! Write the damn story!
And now on with the story!
"Uuummmmppphhh...What the...Where am I?"
Xander slowly opened his eyes and
found that he was tied to an old wooden chair in a dark room. His arms were
tied behind his back and his ankles were tied together. Both his wrists and
ankles were tied together with nylon rope. Xander suddenly noticed that there
was a throbbing pain in his head, and that it was growing worse by the minute.
There was also a throbbing pain on the side of his neck where Angelus had bit
him. The last thing Xander remembered was having his head slammed into the
cemetery wall by Angelus just before he passed out. Xander turned his head to
the left and right, taking in his surroundings, causing the intense pain in
his head to increase to the point where he thought his head might actually
Then Xander looked straight ahead and saw Angelus sitting in a
from him. Angelus was sitting there with one leg folded over the other,
staring intently at Xander with a look of evil concern in his dark brown eyes,
rubbing something in between his hands. "Xander. Buddy. You had me worried
there for a minute. I thought you weren't going to wake up."
"I...am...NOT...your buddy...you...Evil....Dead Boy...Bastard!"
screamed, trying to ignore his throbbing head.
"Oh! It's not nice to hurt my feelings like that!
But if it makes you feel
any better, I don't like you much either. I never did. You are annoying and
I will take a lot of pleasure in killing you."
Xander struggled violently, trying to escape his bonds.
"I HATE YOU! WHEN I
GET OUTTA THIS, I'M GONNA....OW! MY HEAD!"
"Oh. Yeah. Your head. Gee. I'm
really sorry about that, Xander. Well,
actually I'm not. But I had to figure out some way to bring you here."
Suddenly, Xander realized where he was. He was in
the mansion, and now he
knew that he was most definitely going to die, and there was no one there to
save him, not even Buffy. "Why did you bring me here then, Angel?! If you
wanted to kill me so bad, then why didn't you just kill me in the cemetery?!"
Xander yelled, trying to sound brave.
"It's simple." Angelus said, standing up from
the chair and walking toward
Xander. ""I wanna torture you. I used to love it. It's been a long time. I
mean, the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have chainsaws. But
the chainsaw comes later. First I wanna torture you until you scream! Then
I'll kill you!"
"Now. Let's see. Where should I begin?
Oh Xander! How shall I kill thee?!
Let me count the ways!" Angelus snarled, finally holding up what he had been
concealing in his hands...A leather whip. "Oh this is going to be so much
fun! You see, Xander? I had to wait until you were awake before I could
start torturing you. Well, I didn't really have to, but it's not as much fun
to torture somebody if they're already unconscious! And besides! If you were
unconscious, I wouldn't be able to hear you scream! And I really wanna hear
Angelus set the leather whip down on the floor and walked to
the door. "Now
don't go anywhere, Xander!" Angelus said as he walked out of the room.
Angelus came back in the room a few minutes later carrying silver chains and
manacles. At Xander's questioning look toward the chains, Angelus simply
said: "Oh. These are Dru's. She likes to play rough." Angelus set the
chains and manacles down on the floor. Then he ripped apart the nylon rope
holding Xander's wrists and ankles together, snapped the manacles on Xander's
wrists, grabbed the back of Xander's head lifting him up out of the chair by
his hair, and secured the chains to the wall. Xander stood there facing the
wall, and the chains were secured in such a way that he couldn't turn around
to see anything behind him. Angelus took his black silk shirt off and put it
on a table in a corner of the room. "Aaahh. There. That's better. Wouldn't
want blood getting all over my nice clean shirt now, would we?!" At this
point, Xander was way too terrified to say anything. He just stood there with
his eyes closed, preparing for the worst.
Just then, Drusilla came into the room and threw her arms
neck, kissing him savagely. "Ooohhhh! You brought a present! Is he for me?!
Is he is he is he?!
blurted out in one long, incomprehensible sentence.
"Nope. Sorry Honey. He's a Valentine's Day
present for Buffy. At least, he
will be, after I'm done with him."
"Can I play with him? Hmmm? Can I, My Angel?
Can I play with him?" Dru
asked, giving Angelus her best puppy-dog-eyes look.
"Nope. Sorry again Honey. This one's all
mine, and I really wanna enjoy
this. Go play with Miss Edith or something."
"But Miss Edith doesn't wanna play. And I don't
like her. She says mean
things to me. She's being very bad and she'll get no tea or cakes tonight."
"Well go play with Spike then!" Angelus snapped, growing agitated.
"Spike-y doesn't wanna play either. He says he
wants to be alone. So can
Mummy play with the bad Slayer's present? Hmmm? Can I, My Angel?" Dru said,
staring at Angelus with the puppy dog eyes again. "I said NO! NOW GO AWAY
aywiththepresentMummywantstoplaywiththepresent!" Dru screamed.
"DRU! SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH
THE PRESENT! YOU GOT THAT?!"
"My Angel. Why do you yell at Mummy so? Now
Mummy is all sad. You are a
very bad Daddy." Dru said, tears falling from her eyes.
"Fine then. How would you like it if I played with
you later? How about
after I deliver my...gift...to Buffy, I tie you to the bed and torture you?"
"Oooohhh! Oooohhhh! Yes! Yes!
Yes, My Angel! Mummy would like that very
much! Let's play! Let's play!" Dru screamed, literally jumping up and down.
"Okay then. Works for me. Could you leave
now? I wanna get my present to
Buffy soon, and time's a wastin' here."
"Ooohh! Yes! Yes! Mummy will be waiting
for you! We'll play! We'll play!
Hurry back to me My Angel!" Dru kissed Angelus on the lips and then ran out
of the room. <I guess I really did drive her crazy. Maybe just a little TOO
"Now. Where was I, before I was so rudely
interrupted? Oh yeah." Angelus
said, walking over to Xander and picking the leather whip up off the floor.
"Xander. Xander?! XANDER!" Angelus growled, smacking Xander across the back
of his head.
"OW!" Xander screamed, as waves of pain passed
through his head. "What the
Hell do you want, Dead Boy?!"
"Oh. You're still alive. That's good. I
thought you had died on me there
for a minute. And I can't have you dying on me....not yet. That would mean
less fun for me!"
"So. Having problems with your psycho Ho girlfriend there, Dead Boy?"
"SHUT UP, XANDER!" Angelus snarled, ripping
Xander's shirt from his body and
tossing it to the floor. "You shouldn't have said that about Dru! Just for
that, when I'm done with you, I'll let her play with your remains!"
"Well if I'm already dead, then why should I care?!" Xander yelled.
"Oh! Always trying to be the smart ass, are we
Xander?! Always trying to get
in the last word! So, do you have anything else to say before I kill you?!"
"Yes I do! If you kill me, Buffy will find out and
she will be so pissed off
that she will shove a stake up your ass! You are an evil bastard and I....."
Xander's sentence was violently cut short as the leather whip connected with
his back. Xander screamed in pain as Angelus continued to whip him, each time
cracking the whip harder and harder.
"Now....THIS....is...fun!" Angelus snarled,
each word accompanied by a crack
of the whip. Xander shut his eyes and kept screaming as the whip carved out
deep gashes in his flesh, causing blood to flow down his back and onto
Angelus' boots. Then Angelus grabbed a flaming candle from off of the table
in a corner of the room, and tilted it to the side. The burning hot wax
poured over the edge and dripped into the gashes on Xander's back, causing the
skin to sizzle, burn and bubble. The room became permeated with the smell of
burning flesh as the half-burning half-solid wax mingled with the blood,
sealing the wounds in a matter of seconds.
Xander gritted his teeth against the intense pain and the
stench of his own
burnt flesh. He slowly opened his eyes and started to relax when, out of the
corner of his eye, he saw Angelus backing away. Xander began to think that
maybe Angelus wouldn't kill him after all. But that slim hope was shattered
when Angelus started to whip Xander again. Angelus cracked the whip even
harder than before, causing the sealed wounds to split open and bleed, as new
gashes were formed in a criss-crossing pattern on Xander's back. Angelus
grabbed the candle again and poured more hot wax into the old gashes as well
as the new ones, smiling wickedly as Xander's burning flesh mixed with the
blood and the hot wax, sealing the wounds once again. Angelus waited only
about five minutes before he started to whip Xander again, each time cracking
the whip harder than before. Then he grabbed the candle and poured more hot
wax onto the wounds caused by the impacting leather.
Angelus continued to whip Xander, followed by more pouring of
hot wax onto the
wounds. Angelus did the same thing over and over, each time cracking the whip
harder than before. Finally, Angelus set the whip and candle down on the
floor and walked out of the room, leaving Xander screaming in pain as blood
poured from the many gashes on his back. Angelus returned a few minutes later
carrying a flaming red-hot poker and a sword. Angelus set the sword down on
the floor next to the whip and the candle. Then he took the hot poker and
began stabbing Xander with it. He jabbed the poker into the gashes on
Xander's back, opening them up wider and allowing the blood to flow more
freely. Xander screamed in pain as he felt blood running down his back and
his skin began to burn again. "You know. It's such a shame that all of this
blood is being wasted. But I'm having way too much fun here." Angelus
sneered, stabbing Xander with the hot poker over and over.
Then Angelus set the hot poker down and picked up the sword.
beyond screaming now. His throat was so dry that he couldn't scream anymore.
For a moment, Angelus thought that Xander was dead. <Damn! There goes
Buffy's present!> But then Angelus heard gasps and sobs escaping Xander's
lips. An evil smirk spread over Angelus' face as he gripped the sword
tighter. "Well well, Xander! I must say that I'm really impressed! I'm
surprised that you've held out this long! I don't know anyone that's been
able to withstand that much torture before, well except maybe Dru."
managed to whisper, realizing that those were most likely his last words, this
time for real.
"No Thanks, Xander. I'm stayin'. We already
know that I hate you and you
hate me, so let's move on okay? Well, it's been fun and all, but it's getting
late, and I really wanna give my present to Buffy."
"Well, it's been nice knowing you! Well, actually,
no it hasn't! Time to say
Bye Bye, Xander!" Angelus thrust the sword deep into the base of Xander's
neck and brought it all the way down, cutting Xander's back wide open. Xander
screamed one final time then it was over. (Oh My God! Angelus killed Xander!
YOU BASTARD! Sorry, I just couldn't resist that!) Then Angelus twisted the
sword back and forth, opening the cut up even wider. Blood spurted all over
Angelus' chest, running down his pants and forming a huge puddle on the floor.
"Damn! Now I'm gonna have to clean all this up when I get back! And my
pants! Oh well. It was worth it. And I have more where those came from
anyway." Angelus set the sword down on the floor, unchained Xander's limp
body, threw him on the table face down then walked out of the room to search
for empty cardboard boxes.
Angelus came back into the room with as many cardboard boxes,
both large and
small, that he could possibly carry. He set them down on the floor next to
the table, then he picked up the sword. Raising the sword high above his
head, he swung it down in a wide arc, chopping Xander's head clean off, trying
to back up as blood gushed everywhere. "Here's lookin' at you, Kid!" Angelus
said, tossing Xander's head into one of the big boxes. <Too bad I don't have
a chainsaw. That would've been a lot more fun with a chainsaw. Oh well.
Maybe I'll get one to use on my next victim. Now, let's see, who should my
next victim be? Hmmm...so many choices...Oz? Willow? Cordelia?> Angelus
pulled off Xander's shoes and blood soaked socks, followed by his blood soaked
pants and happy face boxer shorts and tossed everything to the floor. Then
Angelus plunged his hand deep inside the wound on Xander's back and began
pulling out his internal organs. Blood continued to spurt all over Angelus'
chest, pants and boots, and all over the floor, as he pulled out Xander's
spine, tossing that in one box, his liver in another box, his spleen in
another box, until there wasn't anything left of Xander's headless body except
for an empty dried out shell. Angelus closed up all of the boxes, placed
Xander's heart on the table, wrote a quick note down on a piece of paper and
taped it to the large box containing Xander's head. Then he gathered up all
of the boxes in his arms, and what was left of Xander's body, went downstairs,
left the mansion by way of the garden and half-walked half-ran to Buffy's
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