Title:  "Buffy's Valentine Present" or "Angelus Has Fun with Xander"  (Part
Author: Oh come on!  Who else could be insane enough to write this?!
E-Mail:  You guys already know this, so why did I even put that there?!
Rating: R as in Really Really Sick!!!  This is not for anyone with a weak
stomach.  You have been warned...hehehe....
Disclaimer: I don't own Angelus, Xander, Buffy, Spike, Dru or anyone else
who's mentioned in this twisted story.  They all belong to that Monkey Crack
Over-Abusing acid-tripping executive producer we all know as Joss.  And they
also belong to Err Argh! Productions.  I have no money so please don't sue!!!
Oh!  And Vinny is my character.  He's just a poor little vampire minion caught
in the middle of everything...hehehe
Spoilers: None, unless you count BB&B (Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered) but
even that doesn't really have anything to do with this, so I guess...Nope!  No
spoilers here!  Hehehe....
Feedback:  Yes!  Yes!  Come on!  You know you love me!
Content:  Torture, blood, death...the usual...hehehe
Summary: I'm not telling.  Just read it.  But if you're someone who really
likes Xander, then I would suggest that you DON'T read it!  You'll find out
later.  And that's all I'm gonna say about that.  And I kill my own character
in this story so go figure...hehehe
Note: I posted part of this a while ago, but then I stopped in the middle of
the story.  Well now it's finished, except that I've changed some things
around.  Namely, I took Pam and Mel out of this story.  They were already in
two stories and I think that's enough for now.  Plus it would have made the
story way too long, and I'm getting sick and tired of typing really long
stories!  Argh!
Another Note:  I could make a sequel out of this, but I don't actually hate
most of the characters enough to kill any of them.  Well, except for The
Mayor, Principal Snyder and Scott...But I digress.  I even kinda like Faith
and Cordy.  Plus I'm running out of torture ideas.  Anyone have any
suggestions??  I don't even really hate Xander enough to kill him.  Blame
Angelus for this story.  It's all his fault!  He made me do it!  Angelus told
me if I didn't write this story, he would kill me!  What would you guys do?!
Right!  Write the damn story!
One More Note:  I know that Pamela's not gonna like this part of the story
for...ummm...obvious reasons...hehehe
And now on with the story!

Angelus placed the boxes, and Xander's headless body on the porch, knocked
three times, and then retreated to the shadows, waiting for Buffy to answer
the door.  It wasn't a very long wait.  A few seconds later, Buffy answered
the door to find a huge assortment of large and small cardboard boxes, and a
naked headless body, waiting for her.  Then she happened to notice that one of
the boxes was larger than the others and that it had a piece of paper taped to
the top of it.

Buffy pulled off the piece of paper and read it out loud:

"Roses are red
Violets are Blue
I killed Xander to show how much I love you.
I'm sorry I didn't have time to wrap your gifts for you, but I was kinda
running out of time.  I hope you enjoy them.  Happy Valentine's Day, Lover.


P.S.  Open this box first.  Trust me.  You'll like this!"

Buffy ripped open the box that had the piece of paper attached and saw
Xander's lifeless head staring back at her with wide terror-filled eyes and
his mouth wide open in a silent scream of pain.  "XANDER!!!"  Buffy screamed.
"NNNOOO!!!"  Then Buffy opened up the other boxes, one right after another,
and found various parts of Xander's body inside.  Buffy screamed again and
sank to the floor as the tears began to roll down her face.  For a few minutes
she just sat there on the porch floor, hugging her knees to her chest.
"OhXanderOhXanderOhXanderOhXanderOhXander..."  Buffy whispered over and over,
a mixture of shock, pain, fear and anger etched in her facial features.
Angelus watched from the shadows, smiling wickedly as Buffy continued to cry
and whisper her dead friend's name into the night.  "Well.  I guess my work
here is done.  Soon, Lover.  Soon I'll be back for another one of your
pathetic friends, and then the real fun will begin."  Giving one last evil
stare in Buffy's direction, Angelus turned around and walked back toward the

Angelus returned to the mansion humming a happy tune, and found a huge mess
waiting for him.  The table and floor were completely covered in blood and
innards.  The floor was so coated with blood that Angelus slipped and almost
fell as he crossed over to the table.  Angelus looked down at himself and let
out an audible growl of frustration.  His arms, chest, pants and boots were
covered in Xander's blood.  Angelus ran a hand through his spikey hair and
growled again when his hand came away slick with blood.  <Great.  No torture
is worth this.  Now who the Hell am I gonna get to clean up this mess?>

Just then, a tall thin vampire known as Vinny, came down the stairs.
"Angelus!  What happened in here?!"  Vinny, who was one of Spike's extremely
stupid minions, asked as he stared at the blood covering the table, the floor
and Angelus.

"Oh not much."  Angelus said.  "Just having fun with one of Buffy's little
friends is all.  And may I be the first to announce that Xander is now quite
dead.  But as much fun as killing that little jerk was, I now have
more...important tend to."  "VINNY!"  Angelus snarled, as Vinny
started to back away.  "Clean this mess up!  NOW!"

"Y-yes Angelus.  R-right a-away."  The frightened minion stuttered, as he went
to get a bucket and some rags and began scrubbing the blood off of the floor.

"Right away what?!"  Angelus said.

"R-right a-away S-sir."  The minion stuttered, looking up from his place on
the floor.

"That's better."  Angelus said.

Then Angelus walked over to the table, put Xander's heart in a small white
cardboard box, tied a small red ribbon around it, and then started to walk up
the stairs.  "Yo Vinny!"  Angelus shouted.

"Yes Angelus Sir?"  The minion asked.

"I'll be upstairs so don't even get the idea in that small no-brain head of
yours to disturb me!  And if this isn't clean by the time I come back down
here,"  Angelus snarled, pointing to the table and the floor, "I will
personally string you up, tear out your intestines, and use them to make a
necklace for Dru!  You got that?!"

"Yes sir Angelus sir.  I got that."  The minion answered with terror-filled

Angelus stopped outside Dru's door.  "Yoo Hoo!  My Dark Princess!  Your Angel
is here!"  Angelus said, lightly knocking on the door.

"Oh!  My Angel!  You're back!"  Dru shouted, opening the door and pulling
Angelus inside.  "Can I play with the present now?  Hmmm?  Can I?"  Dru asked.

"Sorry Honey."  Angelus said, stroking Dru's cheek.  "I told you that Xander
wasn't your present.  I killed him and left him as a nice little Valentine
gift for Buffy.  It's a shame you missed the torturing though.  I can't
remember when I've had that much fun!"

"That wasn't nice!  Giving my present to the bad bad Slayer!  Miss Edith says
you are a bad bad Daddy!"  Dru said, starting to cry.

"Dru.  I already told you that Xander wasn't...."

"Do you have a present for me then My Angel?  Hmmm?  Do you?  Do you have a
present for your little Princess?"  Dru asked, as Angelus stood with his hand
holding the present behind his back.

"Oh do I."  Angelus said, bringing his hand around revealing the small white
box with the red ribbon around it.  "Happy Valentine's Day Dru."  Dru took the
box from Angelus and opened it, staring in wide-eyed happiness when she saw
Xander's heart inside.

"Oh Angel.  It's still warm."  Dru said, taking the heart out of the box.

"I knew you'd like it.  I found it in a quaint little annoying teenager."

"Oh Aaannngggeeelll.  I love it.  I love you."  Dru said, wrapping her arms
around Angelus' neck and kissing him.

"I love you too Dru."  Angelus said, returning Dru's kiss.

"And now for the next part of your present."  Angelus said, taking Dru's hand
and leading her over to the bed.

"My Angel?  I don't understand?"  Dru said.

"Remember when I told you before that after I gave Buffy her present that I
would tie you to the bed and torture you?  What do you say we have our own fun
now?"  Angelus said.

"Oh My Angel!  I'd love to!  Torture me!  Torture me!"

"Be right back Baby.  Don't go anywhere.  This is gonna be fun."  Angelus
said, as he shoved Dru back to lie on the bed and then walked to a corner of
the room.  Angelus opened a drawer, took out some chains and then walked back
to the bed.  Angelus ripped off Dru's clothes, secured the chains to the bed
posts and then secured the manacles around Dru's wrists.  Then Angelus walked
back over to the drawer, took out a long leather whip and walked back to the
bed.  "Ready for this Baby?"  Angelus said.

"Oh yes My Angel!  Yyyyeeeessss!"  Dru screamed as Angelus began whipping her,
creating deep gashes on her arms, chest and stomach.  Angelus pulled off his
bloodied black leather boots and leather pants, tossed them to the floor, then
lay on top of Dru and began licking the blood off of her body.  Angelus kissed
Dru, shoving his tongue into her mouth, letting her taste her own blood, then
began trailing kisses down to her neck.  Angelus sank his fangs into Dru's
neck, letting the blood flow into his mouth.

"Yeah.  You know you like it Baby."  Angelus growled, as he continued trailing
kisses down Dru's body going lower and lower.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"  Angelus' head shot up as he heard a loud scream and a
crash coming from downstairs followed by someone yelling, "SPIKE!  ANGELUS!

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