TITLE: A typical day in Sunnydale
AUTHOR:Spikdpunch/LttlDremr
EMAIL:LttlDremr@aol.com
RATING: xxxx...all the way...way,, maybe not..but its
probly not for the
kiddies
SPOILERS: it wont spoil anything.
SUMMARY: who knows...it has just about everyone id care to see in
one
room...and its silly...maybe even a bit stupid.
DISCLAIMER: Owned by Joss, WB, Mutant Enemy, blah blah...wouldn't
it be
cool if i had made them..woo hoo.would i be rich now???and 'd
Make them show
that Damm episode...both of them.
DISTRIBUTION: ??really? id be happy if someone read this one on
the list...send where ever ya like..this is the ony plave i have
it...wow..I could make my own web page..the mind boggles...
DEDICATION: this one was sent to buffonian, but i got too
impatient to wait
for word...*wiggle wiggle*
FEEDBACK:oh please oh please oh please....hehe...LttlDremr@aol.com..just
in
case you didn't catch it..hehe..
NOTE FROM AUTHOR: its silly...its fun...its dumb....its...well
you
decide. and yes, all the characters are out of...character..hehe,
mostly
******************************************************************************
Angel had had enough. He slammed down his fist on the table,
making the
dishes rattle.
"Dammit! That's it!"
Buffy looked up from painting her nails a lovely shade of
chartreuse.
"What is it, oh super duper lover boy?"
She inquired, giving him her best loving look.
"Another matter of grave importance? Another demon relative
coming to call? Another deadly dastardly crypto nomadic mumbo
jumbo, so mixed up and yet general *it would put the pchycic 900
hot line to
shame* prophesy? Oh tell me oh lustrous wonder boy, who we all
adore." Angel flipped his hand in her general direction,
making a yawning noise. "Ho hum. None of that dear. Nothing
at all. That's the problem. Nothing is happening and I am bored
out of my wits" Buffy was suddenly beside him, buck naked.
"take me now you wonderful man thang"
Angel took a look at her heaving bosom and pushed her down with
one firm
finger to her forehead."sorry babe. I already rode that joy
train
once. I'd rather have some chocolate" Miss Summers could
only resort to open pouting at this point, resting her
little head on balled up fists. "Oh drat. I was afraid you'd
say that...OK
then..What?" Angel paced a bit and then a little
more and then again. He fell on the
floor momentarily dizzy from all that pacing...but he had a plan.
"I have it!!" He exclaimed. Buffy jumped down,
straddling his manly waist. "Yes? Oh soul-oh-liscious honey
bun?"
The vampire frowned, mouthing back her words to an invisible
audience,
adding ?? S to the end for added emphasis. He shrugged,
continuing with her
butt wiggling on his tummy. "A vacation. That's what I need.
I need a
rest. Im too bored and tired of the same old routine. A demon
here, a curse
there. Oh and look...there's you know who" "hello
buggers"
In came Spike. He raced in and threw off all his clothes, raining
kisses on
the nearest nonliving being, so to speak. Angel just happened to
fit the bill.
Buffy shrieked as she was knocked off of angel and rolled across
the floor.
"Oh you ... jerk!! That's my man thing your adding
kissages to. Oh you beast ... Oh you slut, you!!!"
Spike stuck out his tongue. "Nana nana boo boo"
Angel pulled away, pushing spike to the floor too. He turned over
to rest
on his side, propping his head with a hand. "Will you two
shut up? Jesus! This is just
what I was talking about" Spiked scratched his john Thomas
and any relatives that it might have..*if
you dont know what that is...you may ask..or watch Austin powers*:>)
"Angel love? what's wrong sweetcakes" Buffy glared at
the naked spike who was leaning languidly against the couch.
"Yeah. Make up you mind. First you said your bored and then
you said there was too much to handle. Which is it? "Yeah
mate. Im confused"
So said Spike who had missed the previous part of the above
mentioned
conversation. Angel slicked back his hair. Luckily he
always had an
emergency moose container on hand. A second later he whipped out
a transcript
of what had just happened, handing it to spike. Spike flipped
through it,
nodding every so often. "ah..i see...ok..good"
Suddenly the whole thing burst into flames and disappeared
into a pile of
ashes and causing Spike to yell out. Angel gave him a look making
Spike
ashamed that he had tried to look ahead into the future using
such same said
transcript. Angel cleared his throat.. "Anyway...im bored..so...."
The door slammed open and in walked Xander who noted all the
love, not to mention naked body parts in the room, plus the still
sticky hand of Angel; hair moose still dripping from his wiggling
fingers.
"My my...looky here. I wonder what could have been going on"
Spike grabbed Xander, kissing him deeply, lips locking in total
and sudden flurry of dueling tongues. Smoke poured out, it was so
hot.
Finally they both pulled away, panting. Sure Spike didn't need to
breath,
but it was the thought that counted. Xander rubbed his hands
along his
thighs, his eyes rolling upward to the heavens. "I haven't
had such a manly kiss in who knows
when.....well except oz, but that doesn't count on account of his
deadly
killer jelly donut addiction." Everyone in the room stared
at him...hard. Xander flushed and felt so bad
at his own *what was supposed to be a joke but fell as flat as a
penny ran
over by a 2000 pound locomotive going 2000mphs* then he pulled
out a knife
and promptly cut off his own head. Luckily this did not kill him
as there
were no vital organs in the vicinity. "Oh great!"
Xander's de-bodied head exclaimed as it rolled across the
floor to come to
a stop just under the couch. "Even better.." A
collective sigh arose from everyone and angel plopped down on the
same
couch, not far from Spike. He placed a hand on Spike's...spiky
hair, petting
him.. "As I said..boooring."
Spike reached over picking up the head and turning it to face him.
He
kissed its forehead and then.. "Here dear. Would you mind."
He shoved the thing at his wrinkles, centering it in the
elongating object
in the middle. Xander made xanderish noises, sucking with all his.*
i don't
have a neck, but what the heck* might. Spike growled in pleasure.
Buffy
pouted, looking for something to stake....
Buffy spied Xander still twitching body and evil thought went
on in her
head. She quickly stripped it and mounted it. Nothing like a semi
stiff to do
the job for you.. 'Oh yes oh yes...!!!"
The door cracked, breaking in half. Willow marched in with an ax
and all
the Sunnydale woman in tow. "Xander Harris...what are you
doing with that
whore?" Buffy came and kept going.... "willow...what
...*pant pant* what's wrong..*
aaaahhhh*"
Willow threw the ax at the wall. It sunk all the way in. The
other girls
all dispersed, making their way throughout the house. some raided
the fridge,
some played video games. Most vowed never to be an extra again
and left the
country.
Willow burst into tears. "Oh no...that love spell. I
guess it was a residual
effect. Im OK now"
Buffy shivered again, rolling off of the body. At the same time
Spike
yelled out. "give it to me you bloody wanker..yes yes yes"
Willow strolled over to the couch to were angel was picking his
toe nails
with a handy dandy toe nail clipper. She sat down comfortably..
"So...another boring day in Sunnydale...huh.."
The Xander head looked up from where Spike had left it. Spike
snored
gently, fast asleep. Angel nodded. "Yep. Nothing interesting
ever happens around
here..btw..do you wanna fuck?"
Willow shrugged...
"Sure..why not. Its been a while"
She threw all his clothes and her own too and settled into
angel's lap.
Buffy was too tired to protest. "The moon is singing to me"
A sing song voice called. Dru sauntered into the room and spied
willow on
her heavenly man thang. "oooh..you bad witch"
She smiled mischievously, and slid over to where the ax
still lay embedded
in the wall. She let her fingers trace the cool metal. Angel had
started to
pump into willow. "What do you want..*pant pant* Dru?"
She twirled about, giggling. "Mummy gave me some candy. It
was all hard and sticky"
Angel growled, holding willow down, moving faster. "Could
you get to the fucking* pant pant* point Dru??"
Spike rolled over in his sleep. Xander wiggled his nose wishing
someone
would scratch it. Buffy lazily fingered herself. Willow groaned,
wailing..
"ooooh...jelly donut man..jelly donut"
Angel and willow both came at the same time. Willow pulled
herself off
after a couple of kisses. Angel smiled and then gasped falling to
the floor
in pain. "oh great" Exclaimed Xander head. "angel
just got a happy...You know what that means"
Buffy cried.. "oh no..Angelus will come back!!!!"
Giles walked into the room with giant stake. "no...no..never..!
it must never happen, Not
while I live"
He rushed over to Angel and stabbed him. Dust went every where..
Giles was
laughing crazily. Buffy screamed, but the watcher was not done.
He rushed
Dru, doing the same. "oh yeah *baby*..You never invite me to
your twisted
slut parties..you say im too British"
He stabbed the still snoring Spike who disappeared in a howl
of wind.
Willow and all the other girls ran around, confused as Giles
continued his
rampage.. "Giles..please...I never said that. I didn't know
how
you felt...honestly"Giles paused. "Oh my...really..oh...dear..so
sorry.."
He moved over to hug Buffy and further his apologies when
he suddenly
tripped on a Xander head shaped...head. "oh pillocks"
He declared as he fell on Buffy and his stake, thus killing
them both. The
Xander head rolled out the door and was run over, thus proving it
had just
enough vitals in it to make a difference. Willow came back in the
room, shocked at what had happened. "Buffy? Xander? Giles?
Spike? Angel/us? oh my god"
She fell on the couch and cried. A knock came at the door and Ed
Mac man
entered. He handed her a check for 100000000000000000000 dollars
and a camera
crew filmed everything there. Willow could not believe it. She
took out her
spare copy of the transcript that she had bootlegged off the net.
{everything
seems to be in order}
Ed came to her forming his fingers into a box to look at her.
"Ms rosenberg...you've just fucked a vampire, lost
all your best friends, and won a ton of money....what will you do
next?" Willow grinned ear to ear... "why...im
going to Disney land" She took out a little role of candy,
holding it out to the cameras and
smiled. She had read what angel said about a vacation. Yep...the
ideal time.
After all, nothing new ever happened around here. As Angel
said...*poor
angel*..booooring......Oz came in with a tray load of killer
jelly donuts.. "hey. i got the donuts...lets roll"
With that, they all got into oz's van and went on a ninety day
excursion
all around the world. Those were the happy days. *sure, the cops
eventually
came looking for them, on account they forgot to bury the
bodies,, but that
was another story. For now they were just fun loving youths,
living their
glory days, reminensing about the past and never thinking about
the
future...But they knew in there heart of hearts, no matter what
happened,
things would never be the same..
THE END