From: Cloey Marks <cloey_m@hotmail.com>
TITLE: In The Beginning
AUTHOR: Cloey Marks
EMAIL: cloey_m@hotmail.com
DISTRIBUTION: If anyone wants this, you can have it. Just
tell me where
you're posting it.
RATING: some NC-17 at the end
SUMMARY: my own little world, things go wrong, but Angel and his
soul
are sticking together for good.
FEEDBACK:PLEASE!! my first fic, Please tell me if you want more.
Flamers go elsewhere
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss is god.
Please don't
sue, I've got nothing to give you.
So, on with the show....
In The Beginning 1/?
There is a chosen one. She
alone must stand against the vampires,
the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
-the Watcher Diaries
Buffy had been living in Sunnydale
for three months now. She had
two constant friends, Willow and Xander, her Watcher Giles, her
mother,
who knew absolutely nothing about teenagers, and of course there
were
all those vampires, witches, and evils she took care of, but that
was
another story. She liked her life, and had settled into a
routine.
"Hey Buff." Broke her train of thought, as her bud
Xander said hello,
walking with her to their last class. She smiled in return,
calling
out, "Hey, look theres Will." As she
spotted the third member of their
party. "Ah, Friday at last." Sighed Xander,
saying what they all felt.
It had been a long boring week, and they were looking forward to
the
comfort, and sleep a weekend brought. Their last class went
by quickly,
and soon they were walking home. Buffy was the first to
leave the
group, as they walked past her house, promising a weekend full of
fun to
each other. Buffy walked into her house, and up to her room.
She
dropped her bag, and looked around for what she would wear out to
their
local hangout and club, The Bronze.
At about nine oclock, Buffy said
bye to her Mom, and started out
for the Bronze. Walking towards the Bronze, she felt a
prickling at her
neck, knowing someone was following her. "It really
isnt cool to stalk
a girl anymore, that went out of style a while ago."
She called out to
whoever was following her. If it was a vampire she was
going to get rid
of him quickly. She saw as a gorgeous guy, walked out of
the shadows.
He was lean, with dark brooding eyes, and spiky chocolate hair.
He was
dressed in black jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black leather
jacket.
When he finally spoke, his voice was deep, and rich, "Its
not a nice
area to be walking around alone, especially at night."
"I can take care
of myself." She replied, not knowing what he wanted.
"I know." He said
as he threw her a small black box. She opened it to find a
beautiful
silver cross, on a simple silver chain. She looked up with
a question
on her lips, but he had disappeared without a sound, or a trace.
She
slid the box into her jacket pocket, continuing on to the Bronze.
Once
she found her friends, she had already forgotten about the
mysterious
man, and his even more mysterious present.
* * * * *
Buffy smiled as she walked up the stairs
to her room, thinking
about the time she had had at the Bronze. She enjoyed the
time spent
with Xander and Willow, they were real friends, and two of the
very few
people who knew about her being the Slayer. As she took off
her jacket,
a small box fell from the pocket, and in a rush she remembered
about the
mysterious guy she had met in the alley. She picked up the
box, and
took the cross out seeing it glint in the light of her lamp.
Monday
morning she would ask Giles about it, he would know if it meant
anything. She crawled into bed and dreamt of the mysterious
man in the
alley.
* * * * *
Monday morning came too quickly, and in
a flash Buffy was again
walking the halls with her buds, ready for first class.
Neither one had
said anything about the cross she wore around her neck, thinking
it was
just another piece of jewellery she owned. When they walked
into the
library to check in on Giles, he noticed. "Buffy,
where did you get
that cross?" "Actually, I was coming to ask you
about it. Is there
something I should know about it?" "Well, it is a
gift that is very
symbolic to a Slayer. The cross of course is to ward off
evils like
vampires, and the like, and the silver represents the purity of
the
Slayer, but it is usually only given by a close friend. Who
gave it to
you?" "This guy I met near the Bronze. He
warned me about staying out
at night and after he tossed this to me he disappeared."
"Hmm, Ill
have to consult me books." They finished in unison,
and succeeding in
annoying Giles. Buffy spent the day wondering about the
cross that hung
from her neck, and the person that had given it to her."
* * * * *
That night, Buffy couldnt wait for
the sun to set and her mother
to say good night so she could slip outside. She hoped to
talk to the
guy who had given her the cross, but she had no idea how to find
him.
Lucky for her he had decided to follow her again. This
time, instead of
confronting him, she slid into the shadows silently, waiting for
him to
pass by her. He passed and she stepped out of the shadows
only to be
surprised by his lean figure leaning against the wall beside her.
"Who
are you?" she said, wondering if he would even answer her.
"How can I
thank you if I dont even know your name?" "Lets
say Im a friend." He
said. "Well, what if I dont want a friend?"
"I didnt say I was
yours." He replied back, his words mocking and yet soft,
almost kind.
Within the moment she had taken to think about his comment, he
had
disappeared again. "Oh great." She muttered,
turning in the direction
of her house.
* * * * *
The next morning in the library Giles
had a surprise for her, the
new cryptic guys name. "Angel?" Xander
said, what kind of a sissy name
is that?" "Its not a sissy name, I like it."
Buffy retorted,
pondering his name. Well, his name fit him very well.
She wondered why
he hadnt told her what it was. Maybe he wanted her to
find out
herself. But how could she do that, unless he knew that
Giles was her
watcher and that would mean
No, he couldnt, Buffy
decided, thinking
that she had let her over active imagination get away from her
again.
* * * * *
Over the next few months, Buffy saw
Angel on occasion, when he had
another message for her about impending doom. She had grown
to like him
a lot, even if he wasnt around much. One night, she
heard him outside
her window, asking if he could come in. "Sure."
She said, not realising
that it was strange he was on her roof, and not her front porch
ringing
the door bell. He stood in front of her, and she tilted her
head
towards him, feeling his cool lips against hers. When they
broke apart
she screamed, not out of fright but of surprise. Angels
face had taken
on the demonic form of a vampire, and suddenly he was gone.
Although
her scream had been short, it had still been very loud, and when
her
mother rushed in, she explained she had seen a shadow on the roof.
Her
only half convinced Mother left her room, and Buffy mentally
smacked
herself. She should have had more control, but he had
caught her off
guard. When she thought about it, Angel being a vampire
would make a
lot of sense. But that didnt matter, in the morning
she was going to
kill Giles for not telling her.
* * * * *
"You could have told me he was a
vampire." Buffy said forcefully as
she stormed into the library, a very confused Willow and Xander
in tow.
"I just found out, and there are things you should know
about him
Buffy." "Like hes a vampire!"
she fumed. "I better talk to you after
school, then." Giles said, just as the bell rang for
first period.
"Fine." Said Buffy, as she walked off unhappily to
first period.
* * * * *
Later that day after last bell had rang, Giles
waited for Buffy in
the library. As she walked in, he told her to sit down.
"Um Buffy,
Angels a shall well say, a special case when it comes to
being a
vampire. He is originally from the early 1700s, thats
when he became
a vampire. He was very evil, the only reason he managed to
live so long
was because of how smart he was, how powerful. As vampires
get older,
they get more powerful, and learn with age. About a hundred
years ago
the curse of Rom returned his soul. After that he
went into hiding,
and this is the first Ive heard of him since. Buffy,
hes very
dangerous, please be careful." Buffy sat there, not
really knowing what
to do. Then she said, "But, hes been helping us
for a while now, and I
dont think his kind takes well to me barging in on them,
especially at
anothers invitation." "I agree with you
Buffy, but still keep your
eyes open." "Sure."
* * * * *
For five weeks it had been the same
thing, school, hunt, and no
Angel. She went out again tonight, hoping to find him, but
not sure she
would. As she walked through the park, she saw someone
ahead of her.
She walked faster to get a better view of her mystery person.
It was
Angel. "Angel?" she said, hoping he wouldnt
disappear again, "Can we
talk?" "Buffy?" he said, like he was
surprised to see her here. He
stopped, and she caught up to him. Both standing awkwardly
in silence.
Finally Angel broke the silence, "Buffy, this cant
ever be. Im
sorry." "I, guess your right. Im a
Slayer, and youre a vampire. It
wouldnt work. But Ill see you around right?"
she said, as he
disappeared into the shadows. "Yeah, Ill see you
around." He whispered
to himself, regretting what could never be. She walked home
in a daze,
not sure how she felt about this whole thing. But she
thought he was
right, it could never work, could it?
* * * * *
Two months went by since the night they
had spoken. They had seen
each other, but it was only for business. All she had
thought about for
those long months was Angel, and it was driving her mad.
She knew she
couldnt and wouldnt live like this, it was insane,
but how could she
change it. The sun crept below the trees, gilding Buffys
anxious
thoughts as she slipped out for the night. Two hours later
before going
home, she heard Angels voice. He was talking to
someone- a woman. She
watched from high in a tree. He called her Drucilla.
Who was she, was
this why they werent.. no dont think like that, Giles
would know who
she was. She went home, her emotions a turmoil within her
mind.
* * * * *
A night of restless sleeping hadnt
done anything for her mood as
she walked into the library, giving Giles a download of Angels
and
Drucillas conversation. "I will look her up in
my books." Giles said
with a predictability that Buffy assumed came with being in the
constant
presence of books.
* * * * *
It was two days later that Buffy got her
answer, but it was from
Angel not Giles. She had been sitting at home thinking
about nothing in
particular, when someone knocked on her front door. She got
up and
answered it, wondering who it could be at this hour, especially
with her
mother away for the weekend. She opened the door to find an
anxious
Angel waiting on her doorstep. "Can I come in?"
he asked. "I thought
that once vampires were invited they could come in?"
she said in
response. "They can." He said as he shut the door
behind them. "Buffy,
there are things you need to know about me, but I need to know
something
from you first." "Like what? Youre
not going to go cryptic on me, are
you?" she asked, puzzled by his question. "Do you
love me?" "Do I
what?" she said unbelieving. "Do you?"
"I love you, but I dont know if
I trust you." She said quietly, not understanding why he was
putting
them both through this. "When I was younger, I did
many horrible
things. Drucilla was one of them. I played with her,
driving her
insane, killing her family one by one, her friends. When
she finally
went over the edge, I turned her." The silence
stretched out in front
of them, as Buffy took in this bit of news. "Why are
you telling me
this?" "She and Spike have moved in to Sunnydale.
Spike has lived
through three Slayers, and killed two of them. Hes
also trying to find
a way to cure Dru of her insanity. If he succeeds
.
Well lets just
say, hed better not." "I can take care of
myself." Buffy said
stubbornly. "I know, its just that if anything
were to happen to you
.
Id never forgive myself, especially if I caused it."
He walked to the
door, letting himself out. As he left Buffy whispered,
"I love you, my
Angel." Little did she realize how good vampire
hearing was, or how a
tiny silver tear rolled down Angels cheek unbidden.
He knew it could
never be, but it hurt all the same.
* * * * *
The next night, Buffy went to see Angel.
They needed to talk. She
went to his apartment, and knocked on the door calling out,
"Angel? Are
you there?" he opened the door, clearly surprised to
see her there.
"Are you going to just stand there, or let me in?"
Her words prompted
him out of a daze and into the waking world as he opened the door
for
her. "Angel.. " she said, pacing the room, now
that she was here her
words failed her. "Buffy, why are you here?" he
said, a mixture of
anxiety and fear making him sound irritated. She looked at
him with an
incredulous look on her face, part rage, but mostly confusion.
He watch
emotions flit across her features, wanting to go over and comfort
her,
yearning to feel her body heat around him, and yet knowing he
shouldnt.
Her teeth were on edge, a thousand
thoughts raced through her mind,
and yet words escaped her. It wasnt fair, she finds
something good in
her life, and the god-damned fates decide it wasnt "possible"
it would
never "work". *Well I dont care! Thats
right, I dont!* Pure rage
ran through her veins, *What does anyone else have to do with
this?
Its our decision, isnt it, our love?* Angels
muttered, "Its not
fair." Brought her out of her thoughts and back to action.
She yelled
at him, "Youre right, its not fair! I
probably wont live past 20,
and Im letting other people decide that my love wont
work!" He gave a
half-hearted attempt at stopping her flow of words, but was cut
off
before he started. "No Angel, listen to me! God,
for once, would
someone just listen to me?" She pounded her fists on
his chest,
emphasising every word, "Its not fair! I want
one thing, is one thing
so much to ask?" Her restraint broke, tears flowing
freely down her
cheeks, "Is it so much to ask?" He stepped
forward, hesitantly taking
her in his arms, unsure if she would welcome him, or send him
flying to
the floor. She held him like a life line, her tears soaking
through his
shirt into his skin, "Angel, do you love me?" She
choked out through
her subsiding tears, looking up at his face. "Yes."
"Will you-- make
love to me?" The searching look in hers eyes struck
him deep in the
soul, a single tear winding its way down his cheek. He
leaned down to
give her a passion filled kiss, their salty tears mixing with
their
tangible pain. He picked her up without breaking the kiss,
laying her
on the bed, arranging himself on top of her so he could easily
run his
hands along her warm body. He ran his hands up the back of
her shirt,
her warm skin making his hands tingle while she unbuttoned his
shirt
with none to steady hands.
His smooth muscles rippled beneath her
touch, a small noise deep
within his chest grumbling, making her realize what such a small
touch
could do to him. Her mind floated around, her thoughts only
able to
concentrate on the single act of undoing each button. Some
far off
corner of her mind that wasnt occupied or in shock,
thought, *I cant
believe this is happening!* When she was finished, he
slipped his shirt
off and switched places with her, straddling her lap as he undid
her
shirt beneath her gaze. Suddenly, there was a knock on the
door, and
both stopped dead in their "tracks". "Buffy?"
came a small voice that
sounded like Willow, from behind the door. "Angel?"
"Yeah, Will, Im
coming." Buffy hurriedly did up her shirt as she
crossed the room to
open the door. "Buff, I gotta talk to you um- ah,
sorry Angel, but this
is gonna have to be alone, I gotta take her." "Thats
-okay.." said
Angel quietly. Willow took Buffy outside and they quickly
went to
Buffys house, the nearest haven in the darkness of
Sunneydale. Once
safely within her room, Buffy restrained herself from yelling at
Willow,
"If I hadnt of known that you just risked your hide to
get to Angels,
I never wouldve come with you, so whats so important
you couldnt have
waited until Saturday?" "You cant, um..
sleep with Angel?" Willow
said blushing as red as her hair. "You were going to
sleep with him,
werent you?" "Well, I hadnt planned
on it, but the thought had
crossed my mind- what, how did you know?" "That
doesnt matter-" Buffy
interrupted her, "What do you mean I cant sleep with
Angel, what are
you, my mother?" "No, no, no. You can and
will just not just yet.
Theres a curse on him, right, the curse of the Romani clan,
that gives
him his soul." "SO?" "Well, theres
a stipulation that if Angel were
to ever have a moment of complete happiness, when none of his
sins
plagued him, even for a single moment, he would lose his soul
again."
Buffy sat in shock, and still obviously not completely focused
outward,
asked Willow, "So how do we change this?" "Well,
thats what I was
going to tell you. I need you to chain him up for it to
work. So he
wont leave." "Why would I have to do that,
if he knows its for his
own good, he wont leave." "Thats the
other thing, itll cause him a
lot of pain while Im re-cursing him." Buffys
mouth formed a silent
"O", but didnt say anything else except, "When,
I mean, when will you
be ready?" "Now, everyone else is bringing the
stuff to his apartment,
and is waiting for us." Buffy nodded, and they both
left for Angels.
Some time later, Angel was chained and
briefed, and seemed to be
asleep. Everyone else had left, and Buffy helped Willow
with the last
preparations. A small brazier burned a light incense and an
Orb of
Thesula sat nestled in velvet at Willows feet. Buffy
crossed over to
Angel for one last time before the ritual, whispered in his ear
and
kissed his forehead before returning to her position.
Willow nodded to
her and began softly chanting under her breath, all her
reservations
disappearing. Buffy was startled to see Willows eyes
glow a soft blue
colour, while the orb began to glow yellow softly and with
glowing
intensity. She gasped as she looked over to Angel, his eyes
wide and
slightly panicked, mirroring the yellow of the orb. A fine
sheen of
sweat covered him and his white knuckles reflected brightly
against his
fists. A soft undercurrent of music followed the chanting,
as Angel and
the orb glowed brighter. Buffys heart broke each time
she looked at
Angel, the pain he tried to hold at bay was too strong for him,
and she
wept for him. She was so caught up in his pain, she didnt
notice the
second undercurrent joining the first, nor did she notice that
she was
creating this second melody within their minds. The rest
was a blur for
her, lasting only a few minutes and an eternity at the same time.
She
only realized that Willow had stopped when the first melody wound
done
and closed, breaking hers off simultaneously. She looked
over to see
all the equipment gone, and Willow coming into focus.
"Buffy, hes
gonna be sleeping for a while, we should go." They
both got wearily to
their feet and went home, falling into their beds, asleep even
before
their heads touched the pillows.
* * * * *
Buffy reached out her hand in a
futile effort to stop his pain and
ear piercing scream as his eyes and the orb shined with an
intense
yellow light that made her blink away tears, refusing to look
away from
Angel.
Buffy woke up with a snap, memories
flooding her mind, remembering
with an uncomfortable accuracy that nights events.
The only thought
that floated into her mind was *He must hate me for this, after
all, he
wouldnt even have to go through this if it werent for
me.* She just
sat there, with that idea battering her self-esteem and only
allowing
her to lie in shock, never to sleep. Dawn came with dried
tears and
fatigue, but no answers.
* * * * *
Angel woke sometime that night, with a
splitting headache, strained
muscles, and numbness in the tips of his fingers and toes,
exactly what
hed expected. He saw a note beside him, groaning as
he reached over to
pick it up.
Angel, talk to Buffy about this. You dont know
everything, I
couldnt tell you. Be careful with her please, shes
isnt always
as strong as wed like to think.
~ Willow
His eyes widened slightly in surprise. *Ill think
about this in the
morning, tonight Id just fall asleep.* He got up,
stumbled into the
kitchen, fed and fell back into bed without a wasted moment and
slept
dreamlessly and deeply until sunset.
* * * * *
Angel woke with the setting sun, getting
up to shower and feed
again before leaving his loft. He opened the door to see
Buffys back
receding into the night and caught a breath of phrase from her on
the
passing breeze, "..no, no, no. He wont want to
see me. I have no right
to go to his place, hell come to me if he wants to see me
"
Angel
stopped in his tracks, *?Buffy? What the hells wrong
with her
* He
stood there confused until he realized Buffy had disappeared from
view
and he jogged off after her.
He caught sight of her as he rounded the
corner of the nearest
cemetery, and saw a vampire sneaking up behind her. He
yelled a warning
realizing he was too far away and watched in horror as the
vampire leapt
at her. It turned out, though, that hed worried for
nothing. Even if
she wasnt in the best frame of mind, her instincts werent
suffering
any. Buffy ducked as it jumped at her, using its momentum
to throw it
to the ground as Angels superior hearing picked out her
voice, "You
stupid fucking vampires, couldnt leave it alone, could you?"
She
walked over to it and sent it sprawling a few feet away with a
kick that
must of broken at least four or five ribs. Meanwhile, as
the vampire
struggled to its feet, she hunted around for her dropped stake
and
quickly dusted it. Angel had come much closer while Buffy
was occupied
with her would-be killer, and stood in the shadows, still
pondering what
to say. Fortunately, she sat down on a nearby bench,
solving his
following issue.
"Come out, I know youre
there, and trust me, Im not in the mood
to play games." She spoke, startling him a little, but
just before he
left the shadow of nameless gravestone, he realized she didnt
know who
he was. He had come out behind her, so when she spoke, she
still didnt
know who he was. "What, no last words, no begging for
mercy. Ill give
you some credit for that, but youre still gonna get your a---
Angel?"
As she spoke the last word her voice changed from cocky attitude
to a
quavering jumble that in no way resembled the Buffy he remembered.
She
quickly turned around and sat braced on the park bench, as
stunned
silence hummed with tension between them. He started to say
something,
but realized she was speaking and stopped himself, "I- Ill
understand
if you
dont want to see me again." He
moved around to sit beside her
and moved her face to look her in the eye as he spoke, "Why
would I
never want to see you again? I want to see you every day of
my life, if
I had a choice Id never let you go." If he hadnt
of been watching her
eyes, he would never of believed the transition of her eyes from
their
original ice blue, to a startling green, to a golden caramel-gold
to a
bottomless black and back to ice blue within an amount of seconds
he
could count on his fingers. She blinked several times,
rubbing her eyes
with the back of her hand, "Angel, did it work, are you
okay?" As she
looked around, she said, "Why are we in a cemetery?"
"Whats the last
thing you remember?" "Everybody leaving and Will
nodding to began the
ceremony. It didnt hurt you too much did it?"
"No, no, Im fine,
see? The weirdest thing just happened though
."
As Angel told Buffy of the weirdness
that had been that night, he
got the feeling that she wouldnt ever remember what
happened, and that
he was very lucky he still had her, but eventually he forgot
about it,
because what good would it do him to remember anyway?
Eventually, their walk took them back to
his apartment and they had
both walked to the door before realizing where they were.
He spoke
softly, unsure if she would except, "Do you want to come in?"
She just
sighed, looking up at him and smiling, nodded her head. He
went in
first, and turned around to lock the door, but ended up a few
centimetres from her face. Angel leaned in, kissing Buffy
whose
restrained hunger and passion matched his. He picked her
up, without
breaking the kiss and laid down beside her on the bed. Her
warm hands
wormed under his shirt, tugging at the soft cotton and he raised
his
arms to help. She ran her hands all over his torso, as he
returned the
favour with her shirt. As he unclipped her bra she looked
into his eyes
blushing slightly. All he did was pull her in for another
kiss before
turning his attention to her breasts. She gasped as his
cool mouth came
into contact with her nipples, and she arched her back in
pleasure,
urging him on. She gasped and smiled as she felt his
erection through
his pants and rubbed against him experimentally. Angel had
to remind
himself that she was just experimenting, and didnt know how
crazy she
was making him. He purred as she moved her hands down to
rub him again
and remove his pants and boxers. He lifted his hips and she
slid them
down his legs to fall on the floor. He reached down her
taught stomach
to remove her pants and underwear too. He slid his hands
down her waist
and bare hips, luxuriating in the feel of her silky skin under
his
hands. He tailed his hands down to her folds, pushing a
finger into her
warm tightness. She gasped in pleasure, moving up and down
a little on
his finger and he added another, and another, finally with three
fingers
in her. Then he slipped them out and he whispered, "I
love you Buffy."
Into her ear and moved his cock towards her entrance. He
felt her gasp
as the head of his member touched her folds. She moved down
on him
slowly, stopping when he came to her hymen, and whispered again,
"Sorry." And before she could think about it too
much he thrust up
quickly, and she yelped in pleasure and pain. He looked
into her eyes
for any sign of trepidation, but she just smiled at him and said,
"I
love you Angel." and moaned again as he started to
move inside her.
Soon she started moving too, at a faster tempo. He matched
her and the
passion built between them. As she began to come, his name
running
ragged with her breath and he fought with himself to not bite her
and
orgasm as vampires do. She looked him in the eye and
mouthed I love
you and bared her neck to him. He looked surprised,
but then he
reached down and released himself morphing and biting gently into
her
jugular. Her sweet blood flowed into his mouth and she came
around him
again, and he exploded into her, moaning her name as he came.
After as
they both came down, he licked absently at her neck wound, and
whispered, "I love you, Buffy." before they both
fell asleep.
* * * * *
Buffy woke the next morning at down,
kissing him lightly on the
forehead before slipping out of bed to dress, leaving as silent
as a
shadow. She wanted to stay, but she couldnt. She
hurried to her house
to catch a few more hours of sleep before she had to get up for
school.