Title: Chocolate Lust

In the warehouse, Angel took the small packet away from his minion, and
dismissed him. He looked at the packet and smiled. He opened it
carefully, and took a small whiff. Yep. It was just what he wanted, the
perfect means to get revenge on the Slayer and her friends, Angel
thought as his hand unconsciously curled around the small, floral
smelling packet. And this little drug was going to help him get back at
her and get his vampiric pride back. Then his eyes narrowed, as an
unbidden thought came into his mind. ’What shall I do about Spike?’

Angel quickly stuffed the packet into his coat pocket when he heard  a
noise in the back of him. He turned to see Drucilla rolling Spike in,
and his eyes narrowed."Hello, where have you two been?"

"I’ve been asleep, Angel,"Drucilla sang."And I just took care of Spike’s
needs like a good Mummy should."

"So what have you been up to?"Spike said when Angel’s face narrowed at
Drucilla’s."What’s that you put in your pocket?"

Angel shrugged."Oh, nothing. Just a little thing to me deal with a
certain Slayer."

"Ohhh,"Drucilla squealed."Will it kill the Slayer? I want to help hurt
her! She ruined my very pretty dress!"

Angel looked at her affectionately, knowing that it would bother Spike.
Then a plan struck into his mind. And he drawled,"Sure you can help,
Dru. Come to the school at midnight with Spikey boy here. It’ll all be
ready. We can all watch the Slayer die, together. You and me..."

Then he looked at Spike, and added after a noticeable pause."And Spike.
We’ll all watch her die. Like a family should..."

"Oh, goodie,"Drucilla squealed again, her hands clapping. Spike merely
looked at his sire warily, and wondered what he was up to.

*****
The night was still young as Willow crawled into the Summers jeep. After
greeting Buffy’s mother, Willow turned to her friend,"So what’d you
bring?"

Buffy smiled and lifted the still warm plate under Willow’s nose."I
brought double chocolate chip cookies. Mom made them."

Willow squealed with delight."Ohhh, joy! And I got chocolate cake with
chocolate icing! Cordy’s bringing chocolate milk! Won’t Xander be
surprised! He thinks that it’s going to be a research and study party!
Wonder what Giles and Oz are bringing?"

"Hopefully, a bunch of toothbrushes for all of you,"Buffy mom said
wryly. Buffy and Willow shared a glance."But, as far as I know, Mr.
Giles is trying his hand at making chocolate meringue kisses or scones,
God help you all."

Buffy eyed her mother suspciously."And you know this because...."

"He called me at the gallery two days ago trying to figure out how big a
dollop was on a cookie sheet,"Joyce smiled wryly as she glanced at her
daughter."He remembered the batch of cookies and pastries that I gave
him for Boxing Day."

"Oh. Well, how did they come out?"Buffy ventured, still trying to
imagine Giles in an apron, trying to bake something. And coming up
with...a really weird picture."Mom?"

Silence. Willow and Buffy looked at each other. "Ms. Summers?"

"Well here we are! Be good girls, and have fun!"Ms. Summers said
cheerfully."Tell Xander that I’m really happy that he got an 1100 on his
SAT’s!"

"Mom! How did Giles’s cookies come out?"Buffy demanded. Joyce merely
winked at her daughter and started to put the car into drive again.
Buffy held on to the passenger side door."Mom!"

Joyce looked at her daughter with a twinkle in her eye, and gave in just
a little."Don’t eat the scones, I didn’t make them."

*****

"All right now, what have you girls brought here?" Giles asked as he
took out two plates from his office. Buffy offered her plate to Giles
with a large smile.

"I brought chocolate chip cookies and Willow brought chocolate cake with
chocolate icing on it. Whatcha got there, Giles?"

He lifted his two plates proudly,"Chocolate meringue kisses and
chocolate chip scones. Would you like to try a scone? Willow?"

"Oh God! Scones!"Willow blurted. Giles looked at her, puzzled, as he set
down his plates.

"Willow? What was that you said?" Giles asked. Willow’s eyes widened and
sent a quick glance at Buffy.

"I...ah...well,"Willow stammered."I said..."

"She said it was cold,"Buffy said quickly, and smiled weakly at her
Watcher."It was a bit cold outside and so that made her cake cold and
chocolate cake really has to be hot or at least warm for it to taste
good."

"Oh, well,"Giles said a bit puzzled."I’ve never heard that before."

"Where’s Oz? Did he call?"Buffy asked quickly to divert Giles’s
attention from his baked goods."Did Cordelia say when she was bringing
Xander?"

"Oz called and said that he was bringing Chocolate soufflés. And
Cordelia said that she was bringing Xander at about eight thirty,"Giles
replied as he went back towards his office, and then came out with two
cartons of milk."She just left the chocolate milk in my small
refrigerator here before she went to go get him."

"Why is this carton opened? Giles?"Buffy asked with a frown. Giles
looked slightly abashed, then cleared his throat.

"I, ah, ran out of cream for my tea, so I used a little of it,"Giles
grimaced."I highly do not recommend chocolate flavored tea."

Willow grinned as Buffy rolled her eyes."Then that gives us about twenty
minutes to get everything ready.Willow, let’s go to your locker to get
the decorations and Giles, did you get the balloons?"

"In my car. I’ll go get them,"Giles said as he left the library with the
girls. The library was silent as Angel quietly came out from the stacks.
He smiled to himself. It was perfect. Here was a party, and a perfect
opportunity to gain his revenge on Buffy and her little horny and
demented friends.

He jumped over the railing and headed over to the food. Taking out his
packet, he sprinkled the floral smelling powder over the food liberally.
Then he opened the milk carton, and sprinkled the rest into there, and
shook the container. < Ahhh, yes. Revenge in the form of powdered
instant lust. I *like* that. Only problem is that I have to be around
when it activates. The girls fall for me, and the dweebs fall for each
other. Now that’s a plan! Where can I stay hidden? >

Title: Chocolate Lust (2/3)
Author: Ahn
E-Mail: noomma@hotmail.com
Rating:R. (I think.)
Summary: Angel decides to get some revenge on the Scooby gang for all
the indignities that he has suffered so far. Problem is, things didn’t
quite go as planned...
Author’s Note: Can be seen as the final conclusion to 'Conversations in
the Ladies Room' series. (Maybe...)
Disclaimer: Joss and the WB owns all that you know and love. I’m merely
borrowing them to amuse myself until the new season starts.
Content: Drugs, humor, violence, some nudity. Humor. Lust. Humor. (I’m
giving in to my bizarre sense of humor again. One of these days, I’ll
resist.)
Author’s Note:Feedback please!

Title: Chocolate Lust

"Oh, wow! This is great!"Xander said as he wolfed down another piece of
cake."Delicious, Will! The best!"

"Yeah, Will, it’s a great cake,"Oz said as he ate his piece. Then took a
healthy swig of his chocolate milk. "Great cookies too, Buffy. Great
kisses, G-man."

"Yes, well, thank you. Don’t call me that,"Giles said as he munched on a
cookie."The Chocolate soufflé is delicious, Oz."

"Yeah, great cookies and cake, guys,"Cordelia added as she munched on a
meringue kiss."These kisses are good, Giles. Didn’t know you knew how to
bake."

Willow and Buffy exchanged glances, and avoided looking at the odd
looking scones that Giles brought. He picked up his plate of scones,"I
made these, too. Would any one like-"

"What is going on here?"said a belligerent voice from the doorway.
Everyone looked up to see the Dictator of Sunnydale standing with his
arms at his hips."What are you kids doing, eating in the library?"

"Principal Snyder!"Willow squeaked through a mouth full of cake, and
promptly started coughing. Oz patted her on her back to help her
breathe. Snyder dismissed the star student of Sunnydale High School to
look furiously at the star troublemaker of Sunnydale High.

"Summers! Thought you were here, making trouble again,"he snarled at
her."Eating here. In the library-"

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, when Giles quickly intervened. "The
eating is allowed, Principal Snyder. I am here to supervise this little
study party, and this *is* a designated area. We are congratulating
Xander on his SAT scores."

Snyder shot a look at the slightly smiling chocolate faced Xander,"If
they’re his real scores. I’ll make sure of that before *any* celebration
is done."

"What-what do you mean by that?"Xander stammered. Snyder dismissed him
with a sneer.

"How can a C-average student get an 1100 on the SATs?"he sneered."Unless
something happened, like looking over your friends’ shoulders..."

Xander opened his mouth to protest, but Giles shoved the plate of scones
in front of Snyder’s nose,"Care to have a scone?"

Snyder looked at the librarian warily as he scrutinized the plate before
he took a scone."I’m watching you. All of you. Now, break up this little
part and go home. It’s late. And I want no dallying here. Especially
from you, Summers."

Snyder gave them all a hard look before he left the library, then bit on
the scone that Giles made. "Ow! What the hell is this?"

Snyder looked at the small group furiously. Buffy quickly stepped
forward, protecting her Watcher."Mr. Giles told, you. It’s a chocolate
chip scone."

"Keep it up, Summers. Keep it up,"Snyder warned her as he left. The
little group watched him with leave with angry eyes, the party mood
gone.

"The little prickless troll,"Cordelia muttered."Buffy, I really wish
that you would clean his clock just once."

"And get expelled? No thanks. I guess that we’d better go now,"Buffy
said wryly. Then an idea went to her head."Let’s head over to the
Bronze. Giles, want to come?"

"No! I mean,  thank you, but I’m sure that-"Giles stammered as he tried
to think of a quick way to get out of the invitation. Then he rubbed his
head, it was starting to hurt a bit.  Xander shot the Watcher  a quick
chocolate smile.

"Guess that you’re all chocolate and Scooby ganged out, G-man,"Xander
smiled."It’s okay, you’re off the hook. Want us to help clean this up?"

With that, Giles grabbed what was left of the chocolate milk to take to
his office while the others divided the leftover goodies amongst
themselves. While he was gone, the Scooby gang looked at each other and
then at the still, full plate of scones.

"What are we going to do with *that*,"Willow whispered as she cautiously
looked at the office door. Buffy frowned, then looked at the office
door.

"We can’t just leave them here, it’ll hurt his feelings,"Buffy whispered
back. Xander snorted at the girls.

"He’s a man. He can take it. As a Watcher, he is good. As a
baker,blech"Xander grimaced."So let’s throw it out."

 Willow shot him a look."We can’t *just* throw it out in the garbage!
He’ll see!"

Buffy grabbed two scones and shoved them into her jacket pocket, then
grabbed a few more."Grab them and shove them into your pockets. We’ll
throw them out as soon as we clear the school. Quick!"

Everyone grabbed scones and started syuffing them into all their
pockets. Then Buffy frowned,"You, too, Cordy."

Cordy made a face and then grabbed one. Xander sighed and shoved another
into her other pocket."Hey! It’s a suede jacket!"

"Oh, well, everything done here?"Giles asked as he came out from his
office. His hands still in the towel."Where are my scones?"

"We split them all amongst ourselves, to eat later,"Oz said quickly with
a smile."And now, shall we all go to the Bronze?"

"Let me go to my locker first, "Xander said."I want to get something. My
head’s hurting. Think I’m getting a cold."

"And we girls need to go wash our hands first, and bring some of that
Advil for me too, Xander. I left my Midol at home,"Cordelia said as she
walked out with Willow and Buffy.

Then Buffy added,"I need something from my locker, too. Feels like that
time of the month is coming for me."

Willow frowned at her."You too? Usually I have more warning than this."

"Maybe it was the chocolate,"Buffy joked.
*****
Angel walked around the dimmed halls of Sunnydale High School with a
frown. < Where the hell is everybody? Don’t tell me that I have to go
searching for them....Buffy never makes this easy. Always have to do
this the hard way, damn her! >

*****

"Here we are, my sweet,"Drucilla announced as she rolled Spike through
the entrance of Sunnydale High."Now, where is the party?"

"Got that on me, ducks,"Spike said as he looked at the school grounds.
They had managed to come in through the back, and saw the enclosed
picnic area for the students. Then he pointed to an open door."Let’s get
in through there, pet. I think that leads to the lounge."

Drucilla complied with a shrug."So when do we kill the Slayer with
Angel?"

*****

She grabbed hold of the soda machine as another shot of pain went
through her. Buffy’s lower abdomen was cramping her beyond belief, she
*never* felt this bad, even when she was beaten up by the last three
vamps that kicked her gut. < Oh, I don’t think that I’ll be able to make
it to the Bronze tonight. >

When the pain left her, she lifted her head up, and saw two familiar
figures coming across the school grounds. Then a shot of pain went
through her head, and her hazel brown eyes, cleared, and focused slowly.
Her breath grew short, and her nipples started constricting while heat
shot down to her nether regions as her eyes concentrated on the sitting
figure coming towards her."SPIKE!!!"

*****

Giles grabbed his head in pain as he walked out of his office. He was
not feeling well at all, and there was a painful tightness in his groin
that he was unaccustomed to. At least, these days he was. It was more
familiar when he was around Jenny, but since she wasn’t here. And hasn’t
been since her betrayal, there was no tightness. And he refused to think
of her anymore. < Brave words, Rupert, old man.>

Another shot of pain went through his head as Angel stormed into the
library, snarling."All right, Buffy! Where are you?"

Rupert lifted his head up, and saw the one that his Slayer once loved.He
gasped,"Angel!"

Angel swung to see the Watcher, and his yellow eyes widened. "Oh, shit!"

"Angel! My love!"Giles shouted as his arms stretched out to embrace
Angel. Angel stared at the Watcher, stunned at what he called him.
Rupert took advantage of the vampire’s surprise and grabbed the vampire
and started kissing his face madly, throwing him back against the
counter. Angel, gaining his senses back, grabbed the nearest thing he
could and hit the Watcher with it, stunning him.

Angel then threw the book at the librarian’s still form and ran out of
the library, snarling one name. "BUFFY!"

*****

"I need some air,"Willow mumbled as she went through the doors clutching
at her lower abdomen."Oh, God! I’ve never had PMS this bad before!"

Willow clutched at the stomach, and leaned over the balcony, ready to
throw herself over if the pain didn’t cease. < Well, not literally ready
to throw myself over the balcony. >

Another shot of pain went to her head, and when it cleared, she opened
her eyes, and saw two familiar figures walking across the lawn, towards
the student lounge. When another shot of pain made her wince, she
moaned. Then her eyes opened, and focused on the clearest face she could
see, and heat shot through her entire body, making her feel like one
tight nerve that her tiny body trembled. In a second, Willow ran down
the stairs, not hearing the scream behind her,"SPIKE!"

*****

Cordelia groped through the door just in time to see Willow fly down the
stairs that Harmony was once pushed over. "Willow! Stop that screaming!
You’re making my head pound! God, kill me now!"

She was in the bathroom when her lower abdomen shot pain through her.
Then pain went through her head, and she decided that Willow should help
her to Xander. < After all, aren’t geeks stronger than cheerleaders? >
Another shot of pain went through her as she steadied herself on the
railing of the staircase, when she opened her eyes,  she took in a sharp
breath. Cordelia felt moisture gather at the juncture of her thighs as
her nipples tightened. Screaming at the top of her lungs,"Spike!"

*****

"Whoa, man, Oz, my head’s hurtin’ real bad,"Xander said as a shot of
pain went through his head. He stuck his head into the locker, when a
flash of heat made him harden. He could barely concentrate when Oz
answered.

"Yeah, like man, my head’s feelin’ like it was used as a punching
bag,"Oz said. < And my dick’s as hard as a rock!  >

< Damn, I haven’t been this hard since cheerleading tryouts! > Xander
grabbed his head. "Yeah, maybe if we’re not feeling so well, we should
go home. Think-Ow!"

"Yeah-Arrgh!"Oz moaned as he grabbed his head. Both boys lifted their
hands from their heads and felt their respective members harden. When
the pain was fading from their heads, their heads slowly rolled up. Then
they heard a shout, and lifted their heads quickly towards the sound.

*****

Angel raced down the dimmed halls with the lust-filled Watcher hard on
his heels. He cursed loudly," SHIT! SHIT! This wasn’t supposed to
happen! SHIT!"
 
"ANGEL! Come back! ANGEL! I LOVE you!"Giles shouted as he chased the
vampire down the hall."Let me love you! Angel! We could sit together in
the dark and read each other sonnets!"

Angel turned around to a corner and saw the *other* two dweebs staring
at him. His eyes widened as sense of unreality slapped him. The smaller
man took a step forward towards Angel."Man...you’re a vampire....a
beautiful vampire...."

Angel started backing away. Then his head swung when he heard the Geek
king speak what Buffy once called Salivating American Boy Talk."Dur
Angrl! Angrl Duh Butriul!"

Without thinking, Angel stared at Xander. Xander cleared his
throat."Angel...you’re beautiful...in an evil vampire sort of way,
but...Oh, god, I never noticed! I think I love you!"

Angel gave a howl of fury and was about to attack the boy when he was
tackled from behind, and he went down. Strong hands flipped him over,
and he saw the Watcher sitting on top of him."Angel, my sweet! I’ve
finally caught you! Come, let us be together!"

"Giles! You love Angel too?"Xander shouted in surprise. He grabbed the
Watcher by his tweed lapels and forced him to face him."But I LOVE him!
I saw him first!"

"Wait, a min, this is so like, not good,"Oz protested as he caressed
Angel’s growling face."I love him too! He’s so beautiful! Look at him,
he’s like Adonis, man!"

With a howl, Angel flung all three men off of him, and panted."GET THE
HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU DWEEBS!!"

Then he heard a distant scream that sound strangely like..."SPIKE!!"

*****

As Drucilla neared the lounge doors, she smiled."Well, love, it looks-"

"Spike!"Buffy screamed as she flung herself at Spike, knocking him
backward, jarring the back of his head into his jaws.His arms
automatically grabbed the warm body that flung on to him. Drucilla was
flung somewhere away from wheelchair on to the lawn.

"What the He-"Spike started to shout when the Slayer’s tongue was shoved
into his mouth and then all over his face. Then her mouth latched on to
his again. He wrenched his mouth away from hers."SLAYER?!? What the HELL
is going on?"

"Spike!" Buffy happily said as she kissed him again."You’re so
beautiful! So strong! I love you, Spike! I finally realized it tonight!
I LOVE YOU!"

Spike stared at the Slayer in open-mouthed shock. Then the two heard
screaming coming from the staircase, and saw Willow and Cordelia come
flying across the lawn towards them."SPIKE! SPIKE!"

Willow slid near Spike’s head, and started kissing him, then Cordelia
shoved Buffy away and started kissing his chest. "Oh Spike! Spike! I
love you!"

"Me, too,"Willow said as she looked deeply into the vampire’s eyes and
smiled widely at him."I love you too, Spike!"

"Hey! I saw him first!" Buffy protested, then she shoved at Cordelia,
who fell into Willow. As this happened, Buffy resumed kissing Spike as
her hands pinned his head.

"Buffy! You have Angel!"Cordelia screamed as she tried to shove the
Slayer. Then she felt herself lifted and flung from someone behind her.
Buffy felt herself lifted and flung away from her Spike’s mouth. Willow,
who had started nibbling on Spike’s ear, felt a yank just as her teeth
clamped on to his lobe, and then tasted blood as she was flung away.

"YEOWCH!! That’s my ear!"Spike screamed when he felt the bite of the red
head’s teeth, and grabbed his ear. When the pain subsided, he saw
Drucilla standing over him, warding away all comers.

"You keep away from my pet!"Drucilla growled."He’s mine!"

"Think so, Looney Tunes?"Cordelia snarled as she menacingly approached
the female vampire with fists. Drucilla looked at the girl, somewhat
startled to see that she wasn’t running away.

"Yeah, you sad excuse for a schizophrenic, imbicilic sociopath,"Willow
hollered, her fists in the air. Buffy grunted in agreement.

"Yeah, whatever she said, Nutso! Prepare to be dust,"Buffy snarled as
she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a scone."What the HELL
is this?"

"Buffy! That’s Giles’s scone!"Willow shouted. Buffy looked at it for a
second, and then threw it at the snarling Drucilla’s face. A crack rang
out into the night. In slow motion, everyone watched as a slow dribble
of blood come from Drucilla’s nose.

"My nose! You hit my little nose!" she screamed. Spike stared as he saw
Drucilla’s nose bleeding. Drucilla whimpered as she covered her dainty,
bleeding nose. Then he saw another brown missile hit Drucilla on the
head, and saw that it came from the girl Cordelia.

"Finally! A use for Giles’s scones!"Cordelia crowed triumphantly. Then
she threw another at Drucilla."Take that you nitwitted psycho bitch!
Spike is *ours*!"

Drucilla ducked and was about to tackle Cordelia when Willow threw a
scone that smacked into her ear. Drucilla, whimpering, shied closer to
the still grounded Spike when that scone hit her. Buffy saw this and
fury leapt into her eyes."Oh, no you don’t! Get the HELL away from my
man!"

Buffy tackled the mad vampire, and they rolled on the ground. Buffy
landed another punch on the her bloody face and then threw her away from
Spike. Drucilla got up slowly, and gave a sound between snarling and
whimpering. Buffy raised her hand to throw another scone at her,"Leave!
NOW! I may love him , but I’ll DUST him to keep you from having him! So
GO!"

"Spike’s MY pet! MINE!" Drucilla hissed as her mouth began to wobble.
Then her mouth straightened and she stepped closer to the Slayer. Spike
looked at the Slayer and then at Drucilla. Buffy took Spike by the shirt
and lifted him on to the picnic table. She broke off a piece of wood,
and held it close to his heart. Drucilla stopped.

"Dru?"Spike whispered. Buffy stared at the vampiress, and
snarled."LEAVE! NOW! And DON’T come back!"

Drucilla looked at him and then ran into the night. Spike held his
breath when Buffy looked at the stake in her hand. Then was shocked when
she threw it away and brought his mouth to hers as she stepped between
his legs. Cordelia and Willow raced towards the picnic table and seated
themselves on his sides. When Buffy let go of his mouth, and her mouth
roamed down his chest, he panted,"You girls have been drinking again,
haven’t you? That’s why you’re like this isn’t-IT?"

Spike looked down to see Buffy’s face rubbing across the zipper of his
jeans, smiling like a cat that was just petted. He looked at Willow as
she rubbed his hand against her cheek, and then moved it lower. Spike
stared at her as she just grinned at him."Nope. Just chocolate. No
alcohol at all."

Cordelia grabbed his head."So we’re SOBER, Spike. Now pucker up!"

*****

Angel raced down the corridor, the dweeb patrol right behind him. <
Shit! These Dweebs run fast! Gotta lose ‘em! Where the HELL is Buffy? >
He looked around, and stopped. He saw  four figures outside the school
yard. His eyes widened in outrage and let out a great howl as he raced
towards them.

*****

Spike wiggled, trying to dislodge the Slayer from his lap, or more
specifically from the starting to bulge of his jeans. He also tried to
move his arms, but the girls on his sides held them tight. Then his eyes
widened when he felt the moist kisses the Slayer was giving through his
jeans. And then he heard a howl.

*****

Angel grabbed the figure that had her face buried in Spike’s lap and
threw her away. Then he grabbed the other two, and flung them away. Then
he grabbed Spike’s shirt, and hauled him up."HOW DARE YOU?"

Angel lifted Spike into the air and shook him."How dare you benefit from
my Erosbane! What hold do you have over them? WHY the HELL do they
always prefer YOU?!?"

"Maybe because I’m a handsome and charming guy?"

Angel’s hands started tightening on Spike’s neck as he howled in
outrage."And now you’ll be-Ooff!"

"Let him go! You let him go!"Cordelia screamed as she threw another
scone at him."You bully! Let him go!"

"Angel! My darling! Why do you run from me? Us?" Giles shouted as he ran
towards the two vampires. Spike stared at the Watcher and them at Angel.
Buffy’s mouth opened wide at what her Watcher said. Then Xander and Oz
came running behind him.

"Angel! Let me make a song about you!"Oz cried as he stopped beside
Giles. Willow’s eyes widened and then looked at Spike.

"Oh my God? Buffy is Angel gay?" Willow screamed. Buffy stared at her
former ex-honey. Angel stared at the computer geek and was about to say
something scathing when Xander flung himself at Angel’s feet.

"Angel! Why are you running from us, we only love you!"Xander
panted."You’re so beautiful, and I’m sure that Larry’d be furious to
know that though I’m not gay, I have a love as beautiful as you."

Spike looked at his sire."WHAT the HELL is going on?"

"Tell you later!"Angel said as shook Xander off and hefted Spike over
his shoulder and made a dash towards the school. The Scooby gang at his
heels.

*****

Angel slammed the door shut and dumped Spike onto a chair. Angel the
leaned hard against the door, and panted. When he lifted his head, he
absently noted that it looked like the library, but without books. Then
he looked at Spike. Spike looked at his twisted sire and growled."Now
what the HELL is going on and what has Erosbane got to do with this?"

Angel looked at his childe angrily."I don’t have to explain myself to
you, Spike."

"And I think you do! I nearly was raped by three girls and those three
dweebs were about to rape you! And if Erosbane is involved, I want to
know! So out with it!"Spike snarled.

"I sprinkled Erosbane on their food to make them horny and approachable!
Only the damn drug backfired! All right?"Angel snarled back. Spike
looked at his sire and then exploded.

"You bloody IDIOT! You wanker! Don’t you know that Erosbane makes the
user a VERY *psychotic* and *horny* and *obessive* lover when it’s mixed
with the wrong things?!? What foods did you sprinkle it on?"Spike
shouted.

"It was chocolate stuff. Milk, cake, cookies,"Angel said petulantly.
Spike stared at him

"IDIOT! Add energetic to that list! Those six will be chasing us and
having their way with us all night unless we douse them with something
cold!"Spike shouted.

"What the *hell* is going on out here?" a voice shouted from the
darkened office. Angel looked up and snarled.

Principal Snyder looked at the man with yellow eyes and ridges on his
forehead, and his eyes melted."My God! You’re beautiful!"

And he ran around the counter and flung himself into Angel’s arms, his
mouth puckered to kiss his face. Angel growled as he struggled with the
smaller man, and then threw him over the counter. Angel leaned back
against the door again. Spike growled harshly,"Now you’ve got the idiot
headmaster after you! Now what, oh brilliant one?"

"We’re outta here,"Angel growled as he lifted Spike into his arms."And
you’re coming. Hell if I’ll let you have a horny Buffy after your ass!"

*****

With Spike in his arms, Angel cautiously walked out the office door, and
spied an exit a few feet down the hall. Only problem was that there was
a staircase before the exit. Spike snarled, "Now where to, oh fearless
idiot leader?"

"Shut up Spike or else I’ll leave you here to be dusted,"Angel growled
as he tiptoed to the exit. Spike snorted.

"Not as long as the drug is in the girls’ system you won’t. Tried to
show me that the girls want you, didn’t you? Only the plan went wacky on
you. Fool!"

"Shut up, Spike, before I dust you,"Angel gritted out as he glared at
Spike. Angel brought his face closer to Spike’s, with barely a
non-existant breath between them. Spike was about to retort when they
heard a scream.

"Angel! SPIKE!"Willow screamed again."Buffy! Look!"

Angel and Spike’s head shot up at the staircase, and saw the horrified
looks of all of Buffy’s gang. Buffy’s eyes widened."Spike! What are you
doing in Angel’s arms?!? Are you kissing him?"

Xander blurted out,"OH, my God! Spike’s Angel’s *lover*!"

Cordelia swung her head at Xander then at Buffy,"You said he was a
Spike! But he’s really Spike-ella! Buffy how could you lie to us!"

Oz looked at Angel with a hurt expression."Man, how could you love that
Billy Idol wannabe, Angel? You and I could’ve made music together!"

Willow swung her heard to Cordelia,"Spike’s a *homosexual*?!? NO! It
can’t be! Then he’d call himself Wilma or She-Spike or Silk, wouldn’t
he? Buffy?"

Oh, Angel, my sweet Angel, no sharper tooth than this!"Giles moaned."The
precious time we could have had together, now all gone! And for
this...miscreant! Hoodlum! Homosexual Lover!"

Spike had enough and exploded. "I AM NOT A BLOODY SODOMITE!"

"Then why are you in Angel’s arms? You two-timing bi-sexual
bastard?"Buffy screamed with tears in her eyes. She stepped closer to
the two, and everyone, with a heartbroken face came closer as well.
Spike looked at the two-fisted Slayer warily.

"Now, Slayer, it’s not what it seems,"Spike said cautiously."Angel here
drugged your food. Making you think that you love me."

"Likely story,"Cordelia snorted. Xander shot a hurt look at Angel.

"We could’ve been great together, Angel. A kind of forever love,"Xander
said with sad eyes."Like the stars and the moon pie in the sky thing.
But no. You’re a homo vamp, with a false heart. At least LARRY is
discreet in having lovers! But YOU! Mr. Angel-wthout-a-heart-for-love is
flaunting his lover in front of us!"

Angel snorted at him."Get real kid. It was the drug. I’m not flaunting
anything! Least of all a male lover!"

Giles continued."It’s really quite horrible, my Angel. But Xander does
have a point, we were willing to share you, but since you have chosen to
flaunt your true love in front of us, it stands to reason that you must,
regrettably, die."

Angel stared art the Watcher."Now wait a minute here, Rupert..."

Buffy ignored the other conversation and looked at Spike."I DO *love*
you! Now if  we can’t have you, you have to be dusted, so that you’ll
always be a part of us. I’m so sorry, pet,but that’s the way it has to
be."

Willow and Cordelia nodded their heads."Stake ‘em, Buffo."

Buffy stared at Cordelia."Hey, Hawaii Five-O was the only thing on last
night."

Spike looked at the approaching Slayer."Now, Slayer..."

Suddenly Synder burst into the hall and tackled Angel."My love! My
beautiful love!"

All three went flying into the wall. Spike’s hand went smashing into the
nearest fire emergency case. He quickly recovered and pulled the
extinguisher out as the head master showered Angel with kisses. Opening
it, he sprayed it at the head master in the full face, then at the rest
of the murderously jealous Slayer and her cronies.

Buffy shook her head, slightly disoriented when that cold blast hit her
full in the face. When she regained her senses, she noticed three
things. One, Snyder was against the other side of the hall. Two, Angel
was approaching her with murderous eyes. And three, she lost her stake
somewhere. She backed up into Xander’s foot."Yow!"

Turning around, she delved into his jacket pockets, and pulled out
Giles’s scones. Spike saw this and shouted a warning."Look out! She has
scones!"

Angel looked at Spike in confusion. With deadly aim, she belted one at
Angel’s nose, and heard a satisfying crack.Angel felt blood spurt out
and was stunned to realize his nose bleeding. He touched it tenderly,
and felt the searing pain. "You broke my nose!"

"Yeah? So what! I broke Drucilla’s too!" She belted another, then
another at him, causing Angel to back away to the exit."So take that!
And that!"

Oz handed her his scones."Sock it to him Buffy! Scone him!"

Angel backed away with a growl and the grabbed Spike by the shirt, and
hauled him over his shoulders."I’ll be back, Buffy."

"Yeah. And I’ll be here!"Buffy shouted at him. Then she whirled around
to her friends."Is everybody all right?"

They all nodded, and the heard Principal Snyder groan.

"Yeah, let’s go before Snyder wakes. Really don’t want to be
here,"Xander said, and the Scooby gang ran out to the night.

When they reached the parking lot, Giles suddenly realized in
outrage,"You threw my scones at them!"

"Yep! Better that stakes,"Buffy said happily."Now you just added to my
arsenal, Giles."

Willow looked at Xander,"So when did you find out that Larry is gay?"

"Uh...can I just say that I’d rather have a scone before I tell you
this?"

The End.

*****
 Thus endth the series...maybe.

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