From: "Scott W.L. Daravanis" <>

TITLE:  Some other beginning’s end  =  3/?
AUTHOR:  Brianna Devlin  (
RATING:  PG13 for this part, working up to an NC17 (consensual sex, the
usual angst between those stake-crossed lovers Buffy & Angel).
SUMMARY:  All episodes through The Zeppo, with references to Amends &
The Zeppo.  I hate being left in the dark, so here’s my take on what
happened the night after the Scooby Gang minus Xander saved the world,
again.  Oh yeah, and what was with Buffy’s hair?  She looked like she’d
been attacked by a crimping iron.
DISCLAIMER:  All BtVS characters were created by Joss Whedon and his
minions.  I own nothing of significance, so don’t sue me or mine.  You
won’t get a dime.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This is my first fanfic.  Ever.  Go easy on me.  I
learned from the master, Bernadette.  Scary, isn’t it?!  Did the curse
Willow translated from Jenny’s files exclude the happy clause?  Who
knows?  In my insane world, anything could happen, and a lot of things
can’t happen.  Frustrated yet?  Imagine being in Angel’s shoes . . . or
helping him out of them . . . .   =)
FEEDBACK:  Please encourage my writer’s ego.  But I warn you, be gentle
and don’t flame me.  I don’t take kindly to flaming.  I might just have
to vamp out and kill you.  I’m serious.  Really.  I’m not the
kidding-vampire type.
DISTRIBUTION:  If you really want to, that’d be just spiffy!  Just let
me know beforehand.
DEDICATION:  To Bernadette, that crazy wench and my bestest bud, for
encouraging me to write something, anything before she dies.  Or at
least before they get fed up with her constant harassment, and she
finally gets laid by Spike or Angelus.  Or, Spike and Angelus.  Who
could ask for anything more, huh Bernadette?  And to Saber for her help
with the rating system.  Gosh, I hate being an amateur!


"Say it," Angel told her again, pleading with her to do so out of
necessity.  He had to hear her say it.  It was the only way they could
ever move on.

"NO!"  Buffy yelled back at him, unwilling to go through this again.
All of the reasons why they shouldn’t *be* together.  She had heard it
all a million times before – from Giles, from Willow, even from her own
mother.  And most of all from Angel. And she did not want to hear it
anymore.   "Angel, I’m tired of all the whys and what will happens.  I
know it all.  I’ve lived it.  We both have.  And like I told you earlier
tonight, I can’t watch you die again!  I can’t kill you again.  And I
won’t, damn it.  I won’t do it.  I’d rather die than have to kill you

She stood and walked away from him.  She wanted to run, far, far away
from him, from Sunnydale, from her responsibilities as the slayer.  But
she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t.  She could never leave him. They’d tried
to separate, to stay away from each other, but even that only lasted a
few weeks.  And then the big evil showed up with the scar-faced
harbingers.  And look how that had ended.  She’d saved him from death
that time, instead of sending him to his death like before.  And in his
own way of almost committing suicide, he had saved her from death.

Did that make it right between them?  Would God allow them to be
together this time?  Was that why Angel had been sent back.  Even Angel
knew something wasn’t right; to this day he still questioned why he was
sent back, why even Hell wouldn’t take him.  Was there any hope for
them, she wondered?

"You said earlier, before the fight tonight, that this thing with the
Hellmouth, that it was worse than anything we’ve ever faced.  But it
wasn’t, Angel.  *We* are the worse thing that we’ve ever faced."

Angel sighed an undead sigh and closed his eyes.  "I know."

"So what do we do?" Buffy asked, nearly begging him to find the answer.

Without hesitation, Angel crossed the room and pulled her into his arms,
ravaging her with the deepest of kisses.  Buffy, struggling with the
desire to give in to the aching impulses running through her veins, and
the knowledge that if she didn’t pull away, it would be disastrous,
pushed Angel away with all her might, taking a deep breath.  "Angel,
stop it."

"No," the tone of his voice was so firm, so authoritative, that Buffy
backed away from him, becoming a little frightened.  "Not this time,
Buffy.  I’m tired of stopping.  I asked you to tell me before what else
I told you Christmas morning, and you wouldn’t.  So I’ll remind you, and
I want you to listen, honestly listen to what I’m saying this time.  I
told you I wanted to give in to the demon inside of me, to lose my soul
in you.  Buffy, I want you badly; I need you desperately.  I can’t deny
it, and I certainly can’t fight it anymore.  I’m weak where you are
concerned.  Weak in that if I don’t have you, I," Angel stopped himself,
unable to continue.  A strained silence filled the room, each unable to

Angel eventually broke the silence again.  "Buffy, I know it will cost
me my soul, and I know what that cost means to everything we’ve
rebuilt.  But like I told you, a part of me doesn’t care anymore.  And
the part that does says the hell with it, and to take you right now."

"The curse," Buffy started, but was interrupted by Angel.

"Damn the curse, Buffy!"

"No, Willow’s," Buffy stopped herself, "Miss Calendar’s curse.  We can
re-curse you."

"What?  Re-curse me every time we have sex?  Buffy that’s insane.  What
if you don’t get to re-curse me?  You’ve seen what I’ve done before.  I
killed Jenny when I found out what she was trying to do.  I almost
killed Willow.  Hell, I even attacked Xander one night.  And Giles,"
Angel said, remorse for the atrocities he’d forced upon Giles filling
his already angst-ridden soul.  "Buffy, the next time could, and
probably will be worse."

"Don’t say 'will', Angel.  We don’t know."

"No, we don’t."

"So that’s what’s stopping you?"

"It is the only thing, Buffy.  But it’s a dam that is ready to burst.  I
can’t hold it back any longer.  I need you, now.  Tonight."

Buffy paused for a minute before speaking, taking in everything he had
said as he had asked her to.  Slowly, she walked to him, placing her
head on his chest, trying to reason what she was going to say.  She
slipped her arms around his waist, holding him tightly.  Pulling all of
the resolve within her, she looked up at him, taking a small step

"Then do it.  Whatever happens happens.  We’ll deal with that tomorrow,"
she swallowed hard, wondering if she was about to wake up into another

"What if there isn’t a tomorrow for you, Buffy.  I could kill you while
we-" he stopped as Buffy placed a finger to his lips and shushed him.

"I don’t care.  I’d rather die in your arms than at the hands of some
other vamp anyway, Angel.  Even if it is," she paused before saying his
name, "Angelus.  I don’t care," she stared at him, watching the emotions
of 240-plus years flood over his tormented face.

~~End Part Three~~

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